it is coming to the end of my time at sundance.
my time abroad has been extended by one month which puts us square in the middle of this story. it is ten weeks now that i have been gone, and as of today i have been away for longer than i have ever been away before (again).
this has been an amazing, and an unexpected stay at sundance where the sounds of nature just about drown out the sound of the prayer call from the nearby town. it is pretty here and still, and everything waiting there for me to just discover it, and a lot of it i did. many days i prayed for rain so i could stay in the dining hall, MSN'ing or putzing, instead of being out in the world trying sometimes too hard to "discover" it. i stood ambivalent on top of turkey and was very pleasantly surprised in dug-out little churches with faded paintings. some days i overnapped. i hiked. i walked. i trudged. i chased the chickens.
i learned the words: honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, love, justice, perseverance, vision, service. daily i fed the black cat a bit of cheese even though i know i probably should have not.
i had the hugpounce emoticon sent to me -- these two yellow smiley faces, and one creeps up behind the other, pounces and hugs. crazy kids these days and their fancypants animated smileys, but i did appreciate it. i am far from home.
i did little things that are good for my soul and my karma, i really did, but i feel i deserved to be bitten by that dog. leave it at that.
and i have healed. and although i was so swollen that for a while i had no lefthand knuckles, i have healed now and i have learned a new song on the little blue guitar and it is very much fun.
and littler things. like being able to ride the highway buses, and when it it time to move on i will be able to buy my own ticket, orient myself, and make my way to the cave cities of cappadocia.
i have acquired a taste for creamyrich halvah, but you still can see my bottommost ribs. that is how i like it.
the flowerbeds have been upturned by hand and shovel now and the earth is wet. today you can see the water running off the land, through the tall grasses and over the feet of the contented ducks, into the creek that flows to the sea but runs backwards when the moon is rising. it is close to nature here: you can see the actual cycles. i am a little sad to be leaving.
yesterday a bird flew smack into the window of my cabin and was stiff and motionless on the ground when i went out to see what had happened. she was tiny and very fine, soft feathers, on her back in the wet leaves. i sat over her for a long time wanting to do something but of course there was nothing to be done. this morning her body was gone when i checked again. maybe she was just severely stunned. maybe the cats got to her. anyways time for me to leave sundance now, and what i have done here i have done.
