<< the only window of that miserable apartment faced into the ventilation shaft >>

three quick notes on strength and fear.

1 - this morning i am sitting here typing instead of going out and living.

2 - yesterday i hoped for rain so i could stay in at sundance instead of going to see a town called Demre.

3 - the day before i walked and slugged and traipsed my way up long, HOT, thankless mount olympus (more to follow) instead of thumbing a ride with passing cars. because i am strong and can climb any mountain, right? even mount olympus where the old gods live. but also because i was afraid to hitchhike.

i have been getting late starts these days. that is another story, but let me tell you this: when i worked at a job i didn't like, i would find any excuse to put off going out in the morning -- fold laundry, do dishes, take down recycling, anything -- which i attributed to the fact i did not much like my work then. so i quit -- strong, right? -- and travelled and came to turkey but i still find myself getting late starts and i am not sure what i am hiding from now.

it might rain today too. i spent five minutes only on this entry.