<< you were the dark song in the morning / but you were also the red song in the night >>

tonight is a full moon. i have been in turkey two months.

mo is here now with ugur. yesterday he toured a carnation greenhouse and today there are pink, red and white flowers on all the dining room tables.

i have had a / the bleak moment, like i thought i might, but it was not what i expected.

one the one hand. on the other it was familiar. i suppose i did not expect to be dealing with the same dreary stuff i have dealt with already, or tried to -- basic stuff like rightfulness of speech, action, intention. stuff i've heard before.

today i found a guitar -- blue -- and i am sitting up playing it. the fire is still going; i have put on more wood. the boiler has hot water. i have chocolate. i may watch the Big Lobowski.

the black cat is here with me. there is only one animal at this campground that will fight with the dog that bit me, and it is the black cat.

the song i am learning has just one chord and a mama's little baby riff. at times it touches a second chord, although that chord is only implied and it's basically just one two three four back and forth between the bass strings, nice and steady and nice and simple. but tricky. there is a lot goes on around that frame.

just one chord: stuff i've heard before.

intoned stories about strength and fear can wait. i have more pressing and more basic concerns. i have made a seat for myself close to the fire. there is aluminum on my fingers from the guitar strings. i feel the pull of opposites in me. that's why i like the lines, in your _dreams you have sullied and murdered, and dreams do not lie.