still waiting for the other shoe to drop re the big farewell. plenty of little things though such as how ruchan pinched my cheek to say goodbye and how mo and i tended to his roses in the sunshine of the afternoon before i left in the early evening, and the little travel backgammon set he and ugur got to see me off, along with a jar of olives and a bottle of olive oil for travelbound picnics. my last day in burhaniye came and went fast, me doing an express load of laundry and not having time to dry it, packing it damp, still working out of mo's small travel duffel bag instead of my big dusty travel backpack, the plan being to come back to mo's within the week as a final stop before istanbul and the out of turkey and on to europe. none of this quite sinking in.
before i knew it i was waiting across the highway from the restaurant waiting for my bus to izmir to come and collect me, watching the sun go down over the aegean for very nearly the last time.
last thing before i went: turgay, mo's number one man around the restaurant, running across the road way to catch me before my bus arrived, something small and delicate in his big hands and his suit jacket flapping in the wind -- rosebuds to see me off. mo has asked me to record: in life he would like to be remembered for his roses. all along i wanted to have some kind of flower in my hands to give to astrid when she arrived. these roses did not quite make it to izmir, wilting in the hot bus. a reminder: not to give my heart away too readily.
